A Woman’s Strength
Those of you who have read my book River of the Stick Wavers, or who have tuned in to my blog, will know that I like to write about how women move through their world. In River of the Stick Wavers my main character, Grace is trying to figure out her place in the world after the death of her husband. She decides to remove herself from the world she knew and go to a place that holds special memories from her youth. The remainder of the story takes us through her transformation from wife, mother, daughter, to a strong independent woman who learns to live life by her own rules.
The fact that I write about a woman’s strength comes out of my own struggle to be a strong woman myself. I have always been subconsciously attracted to strong women in my life. I have often wondered if that’s because I am attracting like-minded women, or because I want to learn how to be strong like they are.
All my life I have had issues with anxiety and therefore, it has made it hard for me to do the things I have wanted to do. It feels like everything is a big deal. As you may already know if you’ve been reading my blog, taking university courses was extremely difficult for me at first. Traveling across the province by car alone was another test in fortitude. I don’t like being out of my comfort zone. I prefer to be in control of outcome at all times, which is not possible. Because of my condition, I have considered myself weak because these things were hard for me. I thought less of myself. I felt like I was always on the outside looking in to everyone else in the world who appeared to be doing just fine.
But it turns out that everyone else was not doing fine. Each and every one of us has their own struggles to deal with on a daily basis. It took me a long time to recognize that I wasn’t the only one struggling. It took me even longer to see that even with medication, there are still some things that are hard for me to do. You would think that it would get easier, but it doesn’t. Each time I expose myself, it’s scary. The difference is that now I have learned that it’s OK to be afraid.
THE ANXIETY MONSTER:
Anxiety – that monster in my brain that can come up with any kind of negative outcome you can imagine to set my pulse racing, render my brain frozen so that I cannot think straight, and keep me awake at night with thoughts of disaster has held me in its grip far too many times to count.
Yet, when I look back on my life, I can say that somehow I have managed to do all the things I have wanted to do despite my irrational fears. It wasn’t always easy, and sometimes it took years to achieve my goals. But when I want something badly enough, the universe keeps putting it in my path until I’m ready to work through it. And while it’s hard to face the same thing over and over again, the only way to get past the fear, or achieve the goal, is to go through it to the other side. Easier said than done, I know. But I think the universe knows what you’re capable of. Though it has no vested interest in whether you are ready today or tomorrow, or even next year, you do. That’s why the fear, or that seemingly unreachable goal, keeps coming up in your life. A part of you knows that you want to get past it, and it therefore creates a situation to help you accomplish your heart’s desire.
YOU ARE ALREADY STRONG:
Being a strong woman isn’t about being fearless, it’s about the willingness to keep on trying. To get up every day and prepare for the moment when you will be ready to walk through to the other side. So stop putting yourself down because you think the moment has passed to achieve your desires. The opportunity will come again, and again, until you are ready face it. And even if you never do, you are still a strong woman because you kept on trying.