The solution to every problem is love. Wow. That’s a pretty bold comment to make isn’t it? It also happens to be true. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most difficult things to do. You only have to read the newspaper or listen to the news to wonder if there’s any love left in the world at all: Wars; terrorism; murder; betrayal. Then take a look into your own life. I bet you’ve been hurt plenty. I know I have. It’s real easy to point the finger at someone else. It gets us off the hook. It means we don’t have to do anything to change. Blame the bible; blame the government; blame the friend who hurt you. But the truth is, we all have responsibility for our actions, even when we feel we don’t have the lion’s share of the blame. By taking some responsibility, even if it’s only a small percentage, gives us something to work with — a way to change it. How we choose to respond to what happens to us is the way we can make it better. If the other is completely to blame, then there is nothing we can do. We have no control. By taking our share of the responsibility, even if it’s only 1% of the blame, now we have something to work with.

Let me give you an example:

A friend has said something that hurt my feelings. Perhaps they meant it, but it’s also possible that I chose to hear it in a negative light. Probably because I feel there might be some truth in their words. So now I build up this hurt in my mind. I may even elicit the help and support of my friends to be on my side about the hurt that’s been caused. A good friend will be on my side, right? In this way, my pain is validated. Then the friend may tell you of some slight that’s happened to them. Maybe with the same person. Maybe from someone else. The pain and hurt escalate. You reach a point where you don’t feel you can forgive the person who hurt you. You may even cut them out of your life altogether.

What really happened:

The “so called” hurtful words may have been spoken by your friend, but they may have spoken from a good place where they meant no hurt towards you personally, only to the situation. Or perhaps they spoke without thinking. Maybe you were feeling ultra-sensitive that day and decided to take the words in the wrong way. I’ve seen this happen a lot in my life. It all comes down to a miscommunication, or a misunderstanding of what is being said. One person believes one thing, the other person believes something else, and nobody wins. We all come with baggage that seeps into our everyday dealings with others.

Sometimes, all it takes is a chance to sit down with the other person and be honest about how you are feeling in a calm manner without attacking that person.  Perhaps then you’ll get to the truth. Of course, it may be a truth that you don’t like. But even if it is, it’s up to you about how you feel about this truth. The answer to your peace always lies with you not the other person. You are the only one who has control over how you feel.  You can choose to be hurt, and that’s a normal honest reaction. But if you don’t want to continue to feel the hurt, you can choose to feel love for yourself, and for the other person who didn’t know any better.

Holding on to your hurt won’t impact on the other person as much as it will impact on you. We’ve all heard accounts of people who hold on to their pain and it makes them sick. You have to let it go. People will hurt you and make you cry. They may also make you feel that you are nothing. But, you are not your hurt. They are not their hurt. We all come into this world with the same things. It’s the choices we make along the way that takes us down the wrong path. But underneath all the hurt we have felt, under all the hurt we have given, we are all the same. We are all children of God. That means if God is the ocean, we are the drops in the ocean. We are all part of that ocean. And since God is Love. Then that’s what we all are as well. If we are all love, then the answer to every problem is love. And so you, my friend, have the ability to choose love every day, as the answer to every problem.


Categories: Life Reflections


  • Nancy Broadley

    Wow…a beautiful and inspiring message my friend

    October 9, 2017 at 7:57 am Reply
  • Gillian Andrews

    Aaaah. Thanks my friend. I’m glad you found it so.

    October 9, 2017 at 9:33 am Reply
  • David Pestell

    Amen, especially the words of the Dalai Lama. Perhaps the current President of the United States would benefit from reading them !

    October 9, 2017 at 10:40 am Reply

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